For Divorcing Couples
Procedure – Getting a Court Order
For Couples Early or in the Midst of the Divorce Process
Contested divorce (§ 1B): We encourage divorcing couples to address the issue of religious divorce at the earliest reasonable time after the divorce complaint has been filed and served. In most circumstances, tension between the parties will only increase as the case progresses. The procedure is as follows:
You and your spouse both sign the Stipulation for binding arbitration before an agreed-upon beit din within a defined period of time, generally thirty (30) days from the date you sign. You file a Joint Motion requesting that the Court enter this Stipulation as a Temporary Order. Depending on the particular court and the judge assigned to the case, you may or may not need to go to court for a hearing to present your motion.
After signing the Stipulation, even if it has not yet been entered as a court order, you and your spouse should begin the get process before your chosen beit din. You first appearance before the beit din should be scheduled as soon as possible, and certainly on or before your 30-day deadline. Generally, the beit din will facilitate the issuance, delivery, and acceptance of the get, and then hold your receipts in escrow until the end of the civil divorce process.
At the end of each beit din session, ask the beit din to issue a final or interim decision, which should state:
· whether each party is in compliance with the binding arbitration agreement;
· that binding arbitration is concluded or the expected date of further determination or final resolution; and
· recommendations for interim procedural actions pending resolution (i.e. specific date of next meeting, production of paperwork, payments due), if any.
File a copy of the beit din’s decision with the civil court handling your divorce case. If the beit din issues an interim decision recommending any procedural actions, you may need to file a motion requesting that the court enter these recommendations as a further Temporary Order.
If the Court enters your Stipulation as a Temporary Order and your spouse then refuses to appear before the beit din, you may take the following steps for enforcement:
· Ask the beit din to issue a written interim decision stating that your spouse is not complying with the Temporary Order for binding arbitration, and making specific recommendations for enforcement actions (i.e. specific date of next meeting, production of paperwork, payments due to failure to comply);
· File a Motion for Temporary Order with the Court, attaching a copy of the beit din’s interim decision and requesting that their recommendations be made an order of the Court; and
· File a Complaint for Contempt against your spouse for violating the existing Temporary Order by not submitting to or complying with binding arbitration.
Finally, as your case proceeds, ask your attorneys and/or mediator to include a section regarding the get in your final divorce agreement.
Uncontested divorce (§ 1A): Some divorcing couples choose to negotiate a full divorce agreement, with the assistance of lawyers and/or a mediator, before filing anything with the Court. If you intend to do so, we encourage you and your spouse to sign a separate get‑agreement dealing solely with issuance, delivery, and acceptance of the get, as one of the first steps in that process. This agreement should be substantially similar to the {language+on+delivery+of+get-2.doc} Stipulation for binding arbitration that we recommend in contested divorce cases, with an added provision that, should either party file a contested divorce complaint, the parties intend to have their get-agreement entered as a Temporary Order.
For Couples Who are Near or have Reached a Negotiated Settlement: Suggested+procedure-1.docx
FAQs
Why should we use this Stipulation for binding arbitration?
We encourage divorcing couples to address the issue of religious divorce at the earliest reasonable time after the divorce complaint has been filed and served. In most circumstances, tension between the parties will only increase as the case progresses. We believe that this procedure minimizes the minimizes risk of anticipatory aggression, by taking away the incentive for either party to use get refusal as a weapon in later negotiations. If the Stipulation for binding arbitration is entered as a court order, this process also puts the weight of the civil court system behind your agreement to cooperate with your spouse in securing a religious divorce.
Similar to the RCA’s Binding Arbitration Agreement, we anticipate that we can help shift community norms by promoting widespread use of this stipulation procedure, and including an acknowledgement of/reference to delivery of the get in every divorce agreement.
Who should use this Stipulation, and under what circumstances?
By signing this Stipulation, you are agreeing to engage in binding arbitration regarding the issuance, delivery, and acceptance of a get, designating a particular beit din to serve as the arbitrator. If you refuse to submit to arbitration before that beit din, or if do not comply with their ruling, there may be significant legal consequences.
You should enter into this Stipulation only if you and your spouse have agreed upon a beit din that you believe to be reliable and fair. Do not consent to binding arbitration if you are uncomfortable with the choice of beit din. If you have any concerns about the beit din proposed by your spouse or by anyone else (such as your shul rabbi), contact us http://www.getyourget.com/ask-a-question/.
How do I get my lawyer to do this?
Raise the issue of get-refusal with your attorney as early as possible, even if get-refusal seems unlikely in your case. Keep in mind that even formerly loving spouses can become aggressive, nasty, or downright unethical as they become entrenched in divorce proceedings.
As with any potential issue, your lawyer will want to understand the full range of what can be negotiated and potential tactics that could be used against you. Explain to your attorney the implications of get-refusal: it is not just a barrier to remarriage, but it may also affect your freedom to begin dating again and the status of your future children in their religious communities. Emphasize that withholding the get is a form of emotional abuse. If you are not personally concerned about the risk of get-refusal, stress the importance of creating or reinforcing community norms to eliminate this form of abuse.
Check our resources page {http://www.getyourget.com/links/} to see if we have proposed language, sample documents, and suggested procedures to use in your state. If these are available, give them to your attorney, along with a link to this website, and ask her/him to incorporate them early in the process.
If we do not have state-specific resources you can use, we recommend that you ask your attorney to review our Massachusetts resources and the RCA Binding Arbitration Agreement. S/he can work from these to develop an effective strategy and customized provisions for your situation.
How does it work?
I already have received (or given) a get. Is this still relevant to me?
Withholding a get is a form of emotional abuse. If you have already secured a get, you will not personally need the benefit of enforcement by the civil court system. We still encourage you to include a section in your divorce agreement regarding this issue. This can help reduce the frequency of this type of emotional abuse in the Jewish community, while also raising awareness of get-refusal within the legal profession. That section should include the following:
· Acknowledgement by both you and your spouse that a get (Jewish divorce document) has been issued, delivered, and accepted to their mutual satisfaction;
· Identification of the beit din that oversaw the get process; and
· Agreement by both you and your spouse that you each will cooperate in all procedures or paperwork requested by the beit din to issue receipts after the civil judgment of divorce has been entered.
Explain to your attorney and/or mediator why you want this provision to be included in the divorce agreement.
Similar to the RCA’s Binding Arbitration Agreement, which has achieved widespread acceptance among engaged couples, we anticipate that we can help shift community norms and increase awareness within the legal profession through widespread use of the Stipulation procedures and including an acknowledgement of the get in every divorce agreement.
My rabbi/lawyer has a question…
http://www.getyourget.com/ask-your-question/
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